How Uncovering Our Shadow Selves Can Lead to Healing and Freedom
The shadow self, as Jung describes it, is the compilation of parts of us that we deem unacceptable for whatever reason. This could be because it includes parts that were unacceptable to our families of origin. It could include parts of us that hold a pain that threatens us, or brought pain to us in some way.
It is tempting to leave these parts in the shadows and unconscious, as they may be unbearable to interact with or admit to being part of ourselves. However, this gives our shadow self-power, and keeps these parts from any healing they may need.
Therapy can be a safe place to meet your shadow self. A therapist can help you to hold space to accept, heal, and integrate these parts. This may be scary, as we are used to presenting the parts of ourselves we deem presentable and acceptable. These are the parts that have “worked” for us. This is the “mask” we wear socially with others. It can, therefore, be quite uncomfortable to allow that mask to come down with another person, even in a safe, therapeutic setting.
The risk and discomfort come with reward, however. The reward is that in making the unconscious conscious and integrating the shadow self, we are able to live more from our truest self, rather than unconscious patterns. We are able to make conscious choices. Our true self is often involved in seeking change and healing when entering treatment. Becoming conscious of what is unconscious allows us to heal and be more mindful. It is a path to freedom and will aid us in better relationships with ourselves and others. It can also aid us in getting to the root of symptoms, as unconscious patterns are often involved in symptoms.
When in session, uncovering the shadow self will likely involve processing significant moments during childhood and in a person’s family of origin. It may also involve looking at how the shadow self and its patterns come into play within the therapeutic relationship. Often, there may be emotions that have been repressed or suppressed with this shadow self in an effort to keep it unconscious and in the shadows. Feeling into these emotions and allowing for expression will be necessary. A therapist can be a companion as you explore your unconscious and help you to process and accept what you find with compassion and care.